I'm always kind of leery of hanging out with a bunch of Asian people. Last week was no exception. In the contest of "how Chinese are you?", I always wish to be disqualified. If I HAD to be called something, I feel most comfortable being called "1.5"...at least this implies that I belong to both worlds, "Chinese" and "American". And my thinking about this has made me very confused about what is "Chinese" and what is "American" and why it annoys me so much when people call me an "ABC." I'm actually more ok with people calling me a "FOB." I know, I know, totally offensive but it doesn't bother me as much maybe because I feel more confident about where I am in relation to the plane I got off of in 1979. I've heard that some Asian Americans find it hip to be called "ABC" (really?!), but I mean, why do we have an acronym anyway? "American born Chinese" would be still be a loaded term, but at least less flippant. It'll probably take me a lifetime (or never) to figure out why I dislike the term so much.
Last month an older Chinese man from Hong Kong called me a "banana." Spoke English real well. Sigh...if I had a banana, I might of hit him with it! It's no excuse, but I bet if my peer called me one, I might have wanted to take out a bunch of bananas and a few other choice fruits.
ABC is indeed a loaded term. Another one is the hyphenated "Chinese-American" which implies that one is an American of Chinese descent. Unfortunately, the color of one's skin automatically marks you as "other" in this country. Thus, people always find it acceptable to ask, "So, where are you from?" Subtext: How long has your family been here because surely you are not legitimately American. Those people are white. That many Euro-Americans are more recent immigrants than may be imagined is never questioned since they look like the Dominant Culture. Though people who enjoy fatuity will often say, "Is there really a dominant culture?" Yes, the one that controls government and other major institutions. Just because you have a lot of choice in ethnic foods does NOT mean there is no dominant culture. It's about access to power.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find interesting is your rejection of ABC. Is there something specifically about 1.5 that you connect with or is it that ABC symbolizes something you don't want to be a part of? Maybe you identify ABC with economic privilege? Or the privilege of access to English language skills?
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting (in part) b/c ABC is often the term used to reject FOB, and in some ways claim American-ness for Chinese Americans. But in that rejection, there is also often a rejection of signifiers of Chinese-ness. Maybe the refusal to be ABC is the refusal to reject those signifiers, or guilt at having already done so.
I think I just reject the idea that someone is deciding what is "Chinese" for me...just based on the fact that I speak unaccented English or accented Chinese? Or because I came when I was 2 and a half? Interestingly, not since I was a kid have I felt the need to claim "American-ness" or felt so different. Also, yes, I do feel like "ABC" carries some idea of privilege. Not only that, I feel it implies that one isn't aware of that privilege and somehow doesn't struggle economically or emotionally. Words are tricky and it seems impossible to define ethnicity because it is so deeply personal and in one's mind, intuitive, when it really isn't. Yet there IS something there in daily interactions..connections, assumptions,misunderstandings ... we shouldn't categorize these interactions but somehow we need to? Oh, and just a note, I thought I was so clever for my little title to this entry but alas, I am not so. In fact, I just read one with basically the same title. I'm at least a year behind. Look: http://qmusings.com/blog/2007/03/27/abcnot-so-easy-as-1-2-3/
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